Have you ever had one of those times when there was something you really wanted to say but you didn’t know how to do it? I’m going through one of those times now.
My mind is going crazy with all sorts of thoughts about life but I don’t know how to say them. I can’t mold my thoughts into words. If I could, I promise I could have a best selling novel.
I think I have ADD but my mom says there is no such thing. I don’t want pills for it but I am pretty sure I have it. I just want to be tested. That’s all. But no. My mom believes that ADD is just something people made up so that spastic people weren’t judged as harshly. I don’t care. I still want to be tested for it.
I also want to go to a therapist. I have some serious mental issues and I want to talk them out with someone. The only problem is that it has to be with someone that I don’t know. I can’t talk to people I know. It weirds me out. But I can spill everything to a complete stranger.
Maybe that’s why I like to write. When I write I never know who is going to read it so I don’t hold back. But I still can’t seem to write a novel. It irritates me to death too. I really wish I could write like that. Stupid mental issues. Urg.
See, I’m so off topic right now. I was trying to tell you that I can’t say what I want to. There is someone that I really like and I want to tell him how I feel but I can’t. I don’t want to tell him I love him because love is such a stupid word… but I can’t think of any other way to say it.
Love is a word that is thrown out way too much. People use it just to get what they want and lie about it all the time. I don’t want to do that but I really like this guy. He makes my world go round. I think of him all the time and I love being around him. He’s funny and like me in nearly every way… but I don’t know how to tell him that without saying those nasty three words.
I’m a complicated person. I can’t do this. I really need a therapist.
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