Winter Moon

Winter Moon

Oh Winter Moon,

Hidden behind blackened clouds,

What secrets do you keep from me?

What ails you when you sigh,

Your cold breath blowing gently

Through the deadened trees?

I see your faint glow,

The haunted curvature

Of the forlorn Witch’s Nail.

My heart aches for you.

Alone in the deep blue sky

Is where you forever stay,

Beholding the gifts nature brings.

You see all, like the knowing eye

Of the all-mighty Creator.

You’re sly smile does naught to hide

The wonders of your mind.

Oh Winter Moon,

Hidden behind blackened clouds,

What secrets do you keep from me?

Crazy...

                Have you ever gone crazy before?  Have you ever looked in the mirror and saw someone else staring back at you?  Have you ever sat in the dark and felt the claws of your monsters tearing into your flesh, only to realize that it’s your own nails biting into you?  Have you ever reached out into the air hoping someone, anyone would hold your hand?  Have you ever welcomed Death with a gracious smile only to find that Fate is a bitch and won’t let you get off that easy?  Have you ever gone crazy before?  Because I have.  And I have yet to come back.

Just Shut Up

              You, my friend, are in what most call the “honeymoon phase.”  You’re super happy and lovey dovey and all around ecstatic about your relationship.  But that will fade and soon you’ll be fighting and making each other cry.  You’ll say things to hurt them just because you like that glint of pain in their eyes.  But then you realize that you are a fucking asshole and you’ll feel like shit because they are everything to you and they deserve so much better.  Why on earth would you do something to hurt them?  Then they lash back at you and soon both of you are sitting in an angry silence because you disgust yourself and you can’t seem to think that you deserve to even talk to them.  You punish yourself by not being around them and not talking to them and you don’t realize the kinds of pain both of you are needlessly going through. 

                The only reason you’re with them is because you know that you love them… and miraculously they love you back.  You know that the pain of being without them is far greater than the pain their words give you.  You remember that they are your reason and you are theirs.  A love like that can’t be broken with some stupid words dished out because you were too busy being angry at life and yourself to care what you were saying.  So you stay by their side.  You push the pain away and sacrifice your entire being to them, because that is the meaning of life and of love.  And no one can take that away from you.

Breaking Free

            I look over the side of the cliff and shake my head. I don’t know what I’m doing here. This isn’t where I had planned to end up. I’m not ready to make this choice. I’m too young to decide my fate. The voices of my past ride on the wind. They tell me I’m wrong. They tell me I’m throwing everything away. But this is supposed to make me happy, right? This is where we’re all supposed to go?

No. I’m not ready. I take a step back from the edge, but the rock crumbles. I fall off the cliff but catch onto the rim with one hand. My other hand reaches towards the black abyss for mere seconds before it joins the other, holding my weight as I hang on tightly to what the world tells me. I don’t want to let go of what the world tells me is true. I’m afraid of what lies below this small ledge. It’s a vast darkness. A deep unknown.

I look back to the others I had once believed. They sneered at me for even thinking of taking this chance. But that isn’t right… they’re my friends aren’t they? Shouldn’t they be there for me no matter what? All I’ve known is stress and pain in this life. I don’t want it. I don’t want any of it. Well, here goes nothing.

I take a slow breath and let go. I fall into the strangely familiar hole, the air caressing me with its cool fingers. I am finally giving m life to this one random chance. There is no going back. Darkness surrounds me, my hair whips back in the wind. Fear begins to creep into my system.

Suddenly, it’s all gone. I’m bathed in light. His never wavering, always forgiving love fills me. I look; around and see a path before me. It’s unlike any path before. The trail is smooth, well lain out, planned just for me. Other paths before have led me astray. They were laden with rocks, dips, and always caused me to stumble. Not this one.

I smile softly and step forward. My life, my trust, my love is now His. No more pain. No more sorrow. Only a never ending peace. My other life is behind me, forgotten and forgiven. Time to start anew.